Free Wine

June 1
, 2012

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“I’ll trade you some hits for a line?” “You could go in the bathroom and watch me do it.” - she said casually. “OK”, I said without a hesitation. I make a joke about making sure she didn’t ‘fall in’ and she laughed as we locked the door to the single stall bathroom.

This was the most time we’ve spent together. For the past year, I have admired her in secret, fantasied about being with her. We were alone now, this is what I’ve been waiting for, but not like this, alone together in a bathroom getting high.

She pulls out a folded piece of aluminum from a pink compact inside her purse along with a glass tube. I watch her as she unfolds the foil with the black tar dot and used trail marks. I was calm, which was unanticipated for someone who did 3 bumps and a line 30 minutes prior. Lighter in hand and glass in mouth she lights the bottom of the dot under the foil. The brown ball starts to boil and smoke is released, like a vacuum, she sucks up the foul balsamic vinegar like odor and holds it in deep. I watch her do it twice, “Want to try?” - “Yes.”

“Here, I’ll light it for you.” “Just inhale when it starts to smoke.” - “Got it.”

The smoke is harsh, and like the balsamic vinegar reduction they boil and make at work, this tasted just like how it smelled. My lungs rejected the first couple of tries.. I could only inhale a little at a time without a coughing fit. Until my fourth hit I started holding it in deeper and longer. Some of the smoke escapes. “Sorry,” I apologize for wasting any. She shrugs like it doesn’t matter, and it didn’t.

Minutes passed and I felt unchanged, it was a slow high that creeps up on you when you smoke it. I imagine its much more instant when injected. It was after my second deep hit that I felt something had slightly changed in me. It was a familiar feeling, one I knew well, blissful dejection.